"Dear Mama"

Ok, lets get this all out from the start. I've been a "mama's boy" since day 1. *phew* There, i said it. But trust me, it's all for good reason.

First off, I am currently 6 feet 7 inches tall and I weigh about 250lbs. I've always been the tallest kid in school when I was growing up. I never asked how big of a baby I was, but I'm certain I couldn't have been a small one, so she's definitely a trooper for giving birth to me. However, it's not the giving birth to this self proclaimed Monster that intrigues me the most about my mother.

When I was in middle school, I was in the middle of my basketball career. I was content with playing in local leagues and tournaments, being MVP, and bringing home the gold after a nice weekend of what felt like 50 games or so (it was probably closer to about 8 games tho). I loved playing basketball and it was where most of my time was spent. One day, my mom comes to me about a guy that talked to her at one of my games about joining his AAU program. She ran the details by me and it sounded like a lot of work. I'd have to practice every night far from my house with a gang of other boys that I hardly knew. I knew it was going to be a different type of ball than what I was used to seeing and I hated that. I was afraid of the change.

So after a couple days of weighing my options aka letting my mom get the details of where and when things would be, I ended up being forced into the gym. The first practice was about 3 hours long and I can tell you I've never had a more fun time. It was exactly what I wanted to get out of the experience and it propelled me to be the basketball player that I am today. If it wasn't for my mom instilling the confidence in me that she knew I had, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to pursue a 4year basketball scholarship and education at the University of Iowa and I definitely wouldn't have the opportunity that I have now of taking my talents over seas to play in the Euro-League. However, its not my mother's uncanny ability to make the hard decisions in life seem easy for me that intrigues me the most about her.

My mom was diagnosed with diabetes my early years in middle school. And in my senior year in high school, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember being so angry at her for not telling me for so long. It's a shame I didn't know until I was getting my physical for that year's basketball season and my doctor asked, "By the way Jarryd, how's your mom doing?" I had no idea what he was talking about. Unfortunately, I didn't have to go much further to get the answer. He continued, "She did decide to go through with the chemo didn't she?" At that point I didn't even know what Chemotherapy was. It turned out that she did start the chemo. It wasn't long before she lost her hair and to stop the cancer from spreading, they cut off her left breast.

I remember her being on medication that had her wailing and moaning in agony in bed for hours and hours. There was nothing I could do but lay with her and hold her hand. Maybe rub her back and tell her that, "It's ok mama. God has this. It'll be over soon." Those times I spent with her were minuscule minutes and seconds before I'd have to be back at the high school for practice. I hated leaving her. It made me sick. Not even basketball, the game I love and cherish, could ease the pain I shared with my mother. I'd leave there and go right back home and she'd be sleeping. Seeming to be in comfort, but I knew it was only temporary.

To keep the story semi short, she battled and battled and became cancer free. She was healthy enough by my freshman year in college to make trips back and forth from Kansas City to Iowa City to watch her boy do his thing. There she was, front row rockin' her new bald headed hair doo, stuffed left breast, and ready and willing to cheer me on. During that year and a half to two year stint, my mother showed amazing faith and perseverance. However, it's not my mother's striking ability to survive above all circumstances that intrigue me about her the most.

Just last summer, my mother and father got a divorce. Things weren't always the best at home, but I didn't think that they were on the verge of not being together. They were strong in their faith and devout Christians, I didn't even think they believed in divorce.

I guess I was wrong.

Just three months later, my father was remarried (SURPRISE!!). Nobody in my immediate family knew about it. We got wind of it by a distant cousin that called to check on us. My father was gone for a while and when he came back, we had some news for him.

I hated him for what he did. I couldn't believe that his intentions were to go away, get married, come back, then live the life in Kansas City that he always had and not tell anybody what he just did. It sickens me to think about. All my life I just wanted him to be a role model for me. I loved him growing up, but he was just never doing the right things. He would randomly say, "Do as I say, not as I do", when I would foolishly try things that he would do when I was a child. It wasn't until later in life that I realized he wasn't just saying that for the moment, he meant it for a life lesson.

You see, humans are creatures of habit. My father had a shady past with families and relationships (6 kids with 3 different women) and it's silly to think he wouldn't be the same. Proverbs 26:11 says, "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness."

It is in this situation that I am the most intrigued by my mother. To this day she is the most happy and most loyal and most respectful and most humble person I know. I'm currently living in Ames, Iowa right now, training for Europe and living at my good friend's, the Nesbitt's house, and my mom came to visit me with my grandma this week. I've seen her more in the past 2 weeks than I've seen her in the last 4 years due to athletics. Every time I see her, a piece of me is restored. She's been here cooking up a storm and helping with cleaning and enjoying herself as she always does. I just found out that she had to let our house in Kansas City go due to the fact that she couldn't keep up the expenses by herself without the help of my father. She is currently living with my grandma with my sister and my 1 year old niece, Xaria.

If I could be half the person that my mom is, I'd be doing better than a majority of this world. I have yet to meet anybody else more praiseworthy than her. If she ever gets to see this, I just want to encourage her to keep being who she is. She hasn't changed or folded under any circumstance and I doubt that she ever will. 

I love you mama.